Curl Shaming: Are You Helping or Hurting the Natural Hair Movement?

By J.Naomi Johnson

You’re going to have to dig deep for this one. I will give you a scenario…

You’ve been natural for years. You have a hold on kinks and curls and have managed to make your hair “werk”. Your walking down the street and see a newbie or neo-natural . With your expertise you can identify that they are still trying to get a hold on this whole natural thing. Do You…

A.)Stop and demand that him or her allow you to apply a moisturizer that you so conveniently have in your emergency curl kit. The curl Yoda
you are.
B.)Keep walking. It’s not your problem and nobody helped you when you started off! Plus nobody has better curls than you. Nobody.
C.)Cross the street. You do not do well with confrontation. Especially curl on curl.
D.)Stop him or her and invite them to the next natural meet up. You don’t want to come off as a know it all and besides the journey is part
of the fun of being a natural anyway. You know from experience that everybody has their own thing.

Well, I know that you know what the right answer is but this is often not practiced. With all the shaming that someone transitioning/returning natural could receive from their own family and society (work, church, etc.) experienced natural Black Women are shaming each other as well. I am not talking about texture discrimination (which in its self has a negative impact on the natural movement). I am referring to Curl Shaming: The verbal oppression and put down of another natural’s hair care ability causing the natural being shamed to feel negatively about their overall appearance and journey.






Note: Curl Prejudice is the belief that a curl pattern is better than another naturals curl pattern because of looseness of curl or length of hair (i.e., 3b is better hair than 4b.). Whereas, Texture Discrimination is denying a natural from claiming to have a tighter curl pattern because of the color of their skin or depth of “Blackness” or vice versa (i.e., Her hair is not 4c because she is light-skinned. He is to dark skinned to have 3a hair). Often Curl Shaming is a tactic of Curl Prejudice. Both practices are false and negative. Rule of thumb is healthy hair is good hair and you don’t have to be Black to have an Afro.



So anyway… I can feel the eye roll. In your head your thinking, “Whatever, Black people are strong…we tell it straight to each other all the time…” Remember what I said about strength in Black Women and Our Limitations of Strength post? Well if you don’t, now would be a good time to review it. Remember, although strong, not everyone has the same amount of strength. Curl Shaming can directly effect a naturals progress and even end their journey.

I saw a Youtube video a month ago where a natural was providing a tutorial (on another note, I love Youtube. It’s like a natural’s utopia. Click here to see what I am talking about) and she kept referring to other naturals as “hot messes”. Although she provided wonderful insight, I pondered what in her opinion classifies someone as a “hot mess”. Last week I received personal email from a subscriber who had a similar experience. That’s when I realized that this issue needed to be addressed.






One look a curl pattern achieves may not look the same with another. Often times looks have to be achieved using different tools and styling products (an example of this is wash-and-go’s for 3b verses 4c. See Maximum Hydration Method versus traditional 3b wash and go) underneath the video in the comments other naturals criticized her. I am sure she didn’t want to offend anyone... but she did.

This movement, this thing we are accomplishing by breaking the barriers of what society believes is beautiful and developing a love for women regardless of how they wear their hair is important. Like our curls, it is fragile and must handled with care. It can be so easily ruined. I know I always say this but we must be unified in our approach. We must support and love each other.

How do you feel about curl shaming? Have you experienced it? Did you do it without knowing? Tell me about it in the comments below!

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Painting a picture on being REAL in the US.

By J.Naomi Johnson
Being real comes in many forms. 

It is relative to each of us.  So frequently in this country people believe their individual realness to be the truth and reality that everyone must live in.   I too have committed this crime.   Taking the vantage point of my scene I assumed I’d receive instant validation for any and all of my actions.  My thoughts were that I was justified.  Period.

Is this keeping it real?  Or was I really just making excuses for not growing as a person? Was I wrong?

I define growth as acceptance of change and development causing one to be greater than before.  The real or published definition of growth according to my Google search engine is, “the process of increasing in physical size.” A seed must grow.  A baby must grow.  So it would appear that without growth you are just there.  Soon ceasing to exist.

This is the portrait of the United States right now.  We are all just keeping it real.  The police who are under fire for their brutality claim they are keeping it real.  The people who riot and destroy countless businesses and homes in protest claim they are really upset.  The government that limits intervention to focus on money matters says they are really doing their best.   They are all just keeping it real.  They are all just making excuses to prominently affect the lives of one another.

So yeah, the United States has grown but it has not grown. I guess it just keeps it real and really has not become anything except for crowded.

When I did what natural girls do called the Big Chop, I wanted to get rid of all the restraints that I had holding me back from loving who I am completely.  A beautiful Black Queen. Hair is a big thing to women.  Trust me when I say we spend thousands on it.  Surprisingly, now that I am natural, I feel like I spend even more than I did before.  But anyways, to me this act was, is and will always be keeping it real.  That is from my perspective.  However, my entire family swore I was pulling a Brittney Spears.  They challenged the notion that it would liberate me and even suggest that it may not grow back.

Yikes!

In a way, they were somewhat right.  It took trial and error, reverting back to permed hair and two more big chops before I got the results I wanted.  Whew!  In time, my family took notice of my tenacity and struggle and changed their overall perceptions. It also helped that more men and women were beginning to join in the movement.   Looking back at my hair journey I see we all had our convictions but we all grew together.  Both sides took change and developed a greater understanding of each other’s perspective. 

This experience was more than real.  It was common decency at its finest.  A very rare but effective tool.   Perhaps this is the remedy to our societal woes: COMMON DECENCY.    Providing each other with civility and dignity everyday.  Maybe that is the mural that needs to be created here.

And that is REAL.